As most of you know I’ve married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together since before either of us could drive. We’ve been together 15 years (yes half my life), married 8 years, we have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 son and 1 son still cooking, we’ve owned 3 homes 1 of which was a major fixer upper (talk about a marriage tester), up and moved and started a new life in a new state with a newborn, and well…my list could go on of the countless life experiences we’ve had together.
I could go on and on about our relationship, describing how imperfect our relationship is (times we quite frankly don’t like each 0ther) but truly how perfect we are for each other. We have very different personalities which at times keeps us both balanced and allows us to grow as individuals in beautiful ways but other times drives the other one absolutely crazy. I will say though I can’t imagine this ride of life with any other person and the more and more I’ve known this man I can see some major qualities in him that I don’t see in all men and I can seeing becoming a real challenge for a relationship or marriage. I thought I’d share the 5 main things that come to mind that make this marriage work (and I am by no means claiming to be an expert, just a woman who still loves her man after 15 years):
- A husband who is hard-working– There are many men out there who work hard, but some just aren’t. My husband is constantly taking it to some new level. Whether it’s at work, at home or just helping out a friend, he’s gonna work hard. There are so many memes on the internet about men “being sick” or men “having a day off.” My husband isn’t like that. It’s rare that I see him relax, in fact I have to remind him to and force him to sometimes. I’ll sum it up in his words “He gets sh*t done.”
- A husband who apologizes– I feel like this is one of the most important things in a relationship; being able to apologize. Many women spend time looking for the perfect man who makes no mistakes. The reality is that doesn’t exist. We’re human, we make mistakes…sometimes little mistakes, sometimes big mistakes, sometimes the same mistake over and over again. It happens, it’s human nature. Finding a husband who will admit and apologize when they are wrong helps build the relationship. It means they are admitting to doing something wrong or making a mistake and it means they value your feelings and they are open to working on it.
- A husband who balances and challenges you– I know in our time together from high school to now there are people that have seen my husband and I and thought our personalities are quite different and think just how in the world do we fit together. The truth is we somehow balance each other out and in that same way we challenge each other to be better people. In my husbands time with me (and our son) he has really grown into a more patient person, patience being something he has always struggled with. On the flip side my husband has opened my eyes to the world outside our family and issues in our country and beyond that really matter, something I was once pretty oblivious to before him. There are so many other ways we challenge each other too. Now there are also other times we look at each other and know we will never have that characteristic the other one has (for example: me politically debating, him dancing like nobody’s watching :)) but we both appreciate those characteristics in each other and it makes a nice balance.
- A husband who makes you laugh– I know what a lot of you are thinking who know my husband…does he really make me laugh that much? He seems so serious. He does make me laugh though and I don’t just mean when my 6’2″ husband wipes out somewhere (which does happen)… he’s actually quite funny when he wants to be, this week he has been randomly busting out this walking impression of a guy he saw last week (I wish I could record it). If you can’t laugh with your spouse it’s gonna be a long haul so find one that makes you laugh and try to bring that to the relationship as well.
- A husband who loves you– I know this is cliche but it’s too important to overlook. There are many men that would do anything for their family. These are the good ones, the keepers, the ones who look beyond themselves because they you love that much. Sometimes it’s hard to know if they really love you but in the many seasons of our relationship I have never doubted if my husband loves me. Yes he tells me he loves me at least once a day but in everything he does he shows me. He’s stuck by me in the hard times, picked me up from the low times. He’s had chances to be selfish and instead he puts our entire family first. He’s made our life better even when it makes his daily life more challenging. These are all things that shows me how much he loves me. You don’t sacrifice for people you don’t love.
I feel like these are important things to share. There are so many other great qualities that my husband has but these ones really help build our relationship (and besides you’ve already started skimming the post at this point so why up it it 10?). I know I’m not an expert and we’ve had rough times but I like to think our marriage has been pretty great and partly due to the fact of those five amazing qualities in my husband.